


take up shelter in the base of my spine

by slothy_girl



Series: that spark of black that i seem to love [4]
Category: One Direction (Band), The Addams Family (1991)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Addams Family, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Supernatural Elements, Twisted but Sweet, closet, light gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-11 09:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2062485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slothy_girl/pseuds/slothy_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry loves to just close his eyes, tune out the rest of the world and sit and listen, feel the steady throb of louis’ heart in his chest. he sometimes likes to make a game of feeling it pulse in his chest, imagines what made louis’ heart jump or how he must have felt when it skips a beat, what happened to make his heart pound a few paces faster than before; harry hopes it’s because of him, hopes louis recognizes the stuttered gallop of harry’s heart when he thinks of louis. it all almost makes it seem like louis is right there, even though he’s not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	take up shelter in the base of my spine

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: This is all just a big writing experiment for me, as well as me trying to bring my dreams of an Addams' family AU to life, so I'm just trying to have fun with it!
> 
> I am not British in any way except in my ancestry, and this has not been Brit picked. If anyone is interested in helping out or just wants to offer some general constructive criticism, leave a comment or come say hi on my tumblr (slothy-girl)!
> 
> Title from the song “I Want You” by Savage Gardens (aka, one of my absolute favorite songs).
> 
> Thanks: I offer many thanks to my amazing beta Jennifer, who fixed some of my more heinous writing mistakes and helped me get this fic out to you all faster! All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Possible Trigger Warnings: While I hate to spoil things, I’d rather you all be safe than sorry, so please heed the warnings! This fic contains light descriptions of consensual gore; characters consensually cut open each others' chests, organs are removed, organs are exchanged, and there are mentions of poison ingestion.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no money off of this, and this is in no way a reflection on reality, etc.

one of the things harry hates most about being in the closet, besides the more obvious reasons like the hiding and the lectures they receive when either boy fails to comply with some ‘suggestion’ made to get people to think they aren’t together, is the separation.

it’s like his body is being lit on fire in a way that is most definitely not fun, like he’s missing an important limb he can’t call back to him, a physical pain harry isn’t used to experiencing; his whole world flipped and fucked on its axis. it’s not about the separation itself exactly, because though they prefer the company of each other over everyone else most days, they both like their alone time every now and again too, a break from how intense everything is with them.

(and intense isn’t bad at all, not by any means, but it can certainly be overwhelming at times, especially with how more times than not, they can’t just follow through with what they feel, release these violent bursts of emotions that bubble underneath the very surfaces of their skins. they have to bundle it up, lock it away until they’re alone or only around people who know about their relationship, like the boys, and that’s not exactly healthy for either of them.)

harry might head out for some boxing and exercise with liam or a boys’ night with nick. louis might ditch him for a couple hours to shoot the shit with zayn or to play fifa with niall. they don’t need to be right in each other’s immediate vicinity all the time, their lives don’t depend on it and they wouldn’t want it that way anyway; it’s just that they would rather be the ones to decide when and for how long they want to be away from each other, and not let the decision rest with people whose job it is to make them look straight and available to fans.

they’re forced to experience so many different levels of separation; it all makes harry feel nauseated and tense just thinking about it and going from louis’ reaction to it—the fake smiles, the despondent, vicious attitude—harry knows louis doesn’t like it any better than he does.

what makes it all so difficult is the fact that they are subjected to it constantly. harry is regularly directed to sit as far away from louis as he can during interviews, is told to avoid him when on stage. he is often advised to stay behind in america while the others fly back to england or to fly ahead to places before the other boys. louis has to go on ‘dates’ with eleanor, has had to go on a few unexpected ‘vacations’ with her to keep that ‘loved up couple’ image alive. harry thinks that with how often it happens, it should feel more like a bruise at this point, painful but only if you poke it, and not this open, festering wound that keeps getting salt rubbed into it.

the other boys are quite sympathetic; they can see what being forced apart does to them. they notice how things seem to fall just that little bit out of sync in their group, that neither he nor louis are quite as happy as they are when they’re together. and they are so lovely, trying to help out where they can. the distractions they come up with don’t always help, can’t always divert their attention from the cold, open space that the other usually occupies, but it’s the thought that counts and really, harry loves his boys so much, is so grateful for their kindness and care. him and louis are always trying to find ways to make it up to them; they do their best to take care of their boys too.

there is one thing, though, that has become the most tried and true method to at least make it all somewhat bearable.

when they know ahead of time that they are scheduled for a particularly long separation, they’ve created a tradition of sorts. the night before the other is due to leave, they spread each other out in whatever bed they’ve commandeered for themselves and tenderly sever the beating heart from the other’s chest. 

handling these precious organs carefully, they tuck them into the space where their own is missing and then will the threads of muscle and tissue to heal closed. they don’t have to worry about infection or scars, don’t have to worry about the organs rejecting; and harry knows, in the very fiber of his being, the marrow of his bones and the cells in his blood, in the same sure fire way he knows that he can’t drown but he can starve, that he can eat things considered poisonous and live and even enjoy them, that death is only the beginning of another journey harry can’t wait to take with louis someday, there isn’t a single part of harry that could reject louis. 

once everything is in order, their chests are sealed shut, and their tools are cleaned and put away properly, they fuck slow and gentle, hands constantly drifting to the place where their hearts pulse in the chest opposite their own, pressing down to feel the thumping beats.

and the thing is, harry has always been fascinated by louis’ heart. it’s one of the more active organs in louis’ body in that it is always moving, always circulating blood throughout his body, and harry loves the reminder of just how alive louis is almost as much as he loves louis himself. going from the way louis enjoys ripping open harry’s chest to fondle harry’s own heart, to even go as far as to remove it, to press gentle kisses to it and caress it like it’s the most precious gem in the world, he assumes the feeling is mutual.

the match that first lit the idea of heart exchange seemed to come out of nowhere, but was also one that had been a long time coming. one second, they had been lying down, waiting for paul to come get harry to have him whisked away to la, louis’ head pillowed on harry’s chest, listening to the other’s heart beat, the both of them taking comfort in the sound and the feel; the next, louis said “I wish I could just take your heart with me,” and so the idea sparked into life.

they researched it as best they could, tried to work on and figure out the logistics of heart exchange: what it would entail, what tools they would need, any risks they should look out for, things like that. harry asked his mum for advice, and when she proved to be rather short on experience in that particular area, she pointed them to the addams’ for help, though not before coercing them into pruning her gardens of wolfsbane, hemlock, and doll’s eyes: trimming the leaves, pulling and burning the sunflowers that had sprung up like weeds, covertly chewing a few leaves of hemlock for the earthy taste and tingling feeling that danced on their tongues; overall, they did a rather good job of it.

morticia and gomez were a little more helpful, offering suggestions and tips over the phone (“mm, yes, heart exchange, what a marvelous idea, darlings. we did it years ago when i had to do my runs with my coven in the early years of our marriage; gomez was forbidden to come along, of course. it all worked out fairly well for us”). they even offered a demonstration, but by then, one direction wasn’t anywhere near new jersey and the addams’ weren’t much of a fan of skype, so the offer was tabled until a better time.

when they had researched all they could, harry picked a day to practice, one of their few days off that month, and convinced the other boys to leave them alone, pleading time for sex when really they were going to be tearing each other open to see if they really could switch hearts; though harry couldn’t exactly tell them that, so sex was the excuse he went with.

and so they gave it a try. heart extraction was old hat to them so that part was easy, but it wasn’t until harry was sliding louis’ heart into his chest cavity, the organ pounding to the beat of nerves and anticipation like he was sure his own was, carefully hooking up the veins and arteries where they needed to go without a mirror because he didn’t need it, because he knew his way around louis’ heart like he knew his way around his own body; louis was as much a part of him as anything else.

the feeling wasn’t anything like harry had ever felt before. their connection was already intense, but this was a whole other level. having louis’ heart in his chest made harry, in that moment, feel closer to louis than he ever had before; it was almost as if he was protecting louis, guarding his heart, that they were protecting each other, and harry loved that.

by the look on louis’ face, pleasantly surprised and in awe, he felt the same way.

and suddenly, harry was giddy with it; it was relief, like water in a desert, and harry couldn’t help but giggle into louis’ neck, to grab him around the waist and pull him in for a kiss, their mouths stretched into smiles, feeling more drunk on each other than they have ever gotten on belladonna. 

they collapsed into each other like bodies into graves, and for the first time, impending separation wasn’t quite as stressful.

they don’t always have the time or inclination or even the patience to drag out the necessary tools to tear into each other like that to get at that pulsing organ; they don’t always get the opportunity to exchange hearts; plans change and sometimes they only have a few seconds warning to digest the turn of events before one or both of them is unceremoniously whisked away. they have texting and phone calls and skype, but nothing is more soothing, more comforting, than having their lover’s heart in their chest.

harry loves to just close his eyes, tune out the rest of the world and sit and listen, feel the steady throb of louis’ heart in his chest. he sometimes likes to make a game of feeling it pulse in his chest, imagines what made louis’ heart jump or how he must have felt when it skips a beat, what happened to make his heart pound a few paces faster than before; harry hopes it’s because of him, hopes louis recognizes the stuttered gallop of harry’s heart when he thinks of louis. it all almost makes it seem like louis is right there, even though he’s not.

it can be a bit of a poor substitute at times, when harry craves the feel of louis’ arms around him, of his warm body beside him, but it’s more comfort than nothing, no matter how bittersweet it can be.

and so he waits until the time when he can be reunited with louis to return what has always been harry’s to begin with.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I have a good deal of the series already planned out and sort of written up, though it is not yet complete. I have a pretty good idea how many parts there will be, though, and I know what each part will entail. I’m aiming for updating the series every other Friday, depending on real life.
> 
> Also, if someone could teach me how to link things in these notes, that would be brilliant!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
